


runnin' low

by em_n_m_e



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Music, Reader-Insert, Relationship Problems, Relationship(s), So is Kuroo, happiness, reader is an ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-26 20:20:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9920762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/em_n_m_e/pseuds/em_n_m_e
Summary: //our love is runnin low\\[Tags will be added on; I hope I finish this with a happy ending.]





	1. waste away

**Author's Note:**

> 'runnin low' by blackbear  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36mrB21w5b0

_“Love, right?”_

_There wasn’t hope that the heart could cling onto anymore. It was plain and simple; lingered in the air and created tension whenever their eyes would meet. The flames died long ago – their gazes were dull and their touches were cold. There was no dancing fire, no racing heartbeat. It ended from the first ‘ **I love you** ’; there was no euphoria, was there? Though, it could be considered a lie; he stopped fighting long ago, but she was still there. If he was the music, then she was dancing to none at all. Why did she keep on trying? It was frustration that kept on piling up – but if it was let go of, it would be that period that ended a two hundred paged book. _

_She was trying to catch up to him, desperately – she wanted his gaze on her; she wanted to turn him around and face him properly, but he was faster than her – his back always remained in the horizon and mocked her; she was too slow, she couldn’t keep him close – it was only a matter of time and a question to be answered; Will it be that frustration of hers, or that coldness of his? Frankly, the cat like male felt no guilt; teenage years and no regrets – even if it ended up with a relationship that held him back for a year. He was entertained and felt that there was something of use there – though, the moment it passed? The piece was thrown away and he will roam again; search for something new._

 

 

> _[From: Kitten]_
> 
> _09:42 pm_
> 
> _Tetsurou, where the fuck are you?_
> 
> _[To: Kitten]_
> 
> _10:03 pm  
>  _
> 
> _Sorry, forgot  
> _
> 
> _Was watching something lol_
> 
> _[From: Kitten]_
> 
> _10:06 pm  
>  _
> 
> _Yeah, okay._
> 
> _Whatever._
> 
> _Apparently my come to Tokyo was completely useless. Oh well, here I come back, Miyagi._
> 
>  

_The phone was discarded; the last sound from it went over her head – it didn’t matter anyways; the conversation would have ended either with what she sent last or with her glancing at what he sent just now, wouldn’t it? She inhaled slowly, trying to calm the ricocheting in her chest; it was relentless and with each pang it hurt her even more – but she forced her figure to start moving, leaving the peacefulness of the night behind her as she entered a more crowded area of the underground. Screeching and chatter resonated through the air, the warmth of acquaintances ever present; her shoulders bumped with different figures all over, she knew that there were others around her, yet she felt as if the dark surrounded her and she was left to her own suffering._

_Her hands, shoved in her jacket’s pockets, balled up. Her gaze was low and she concentrated on a peculiar crack on the pavement, trying to remain with a neutral expression. The train that arrived overwhelmed the chatter; it notified her that it was time to move again despite the ache; but she didn’t. The train wasn’t there, the crowd was long gone too – yet she stood, frozen in place as she contemplated on what to do. Her heartbeat quickened alarmingly; nervousness overtook her system, but if she held on any longer, it would hurt more – eventually and gradually, anyways._

_She turned on her heels and emerged from the subway, back into the cool air of the night. She felt the need to laugh at how pathetic the situation was, her facial expression threatened to form a toxic smile – and how hard it was to compress your emotions among strangers; and how hard it will be later in the night to be returning down this road, a road in this big city unknown to her, with bloodshot eyes and only return home in the early morning – but she didn’t care. She needed to resolve this, she wanted it to end no matter how hard._

_Her eyes didn’t focus on the passing buildings, or on the stars above her; she didn’t react to the chilly wind or to the loud traffic, no matter how foreign it was to her or how obnoxious it was to get used to it. The world seemed muted to her and she was left to the mercy of her own thoughts and countless scenarios in her head; yet, in the end, even that was muted as her knuckles laid a mere inch away from the wooden door in front of her. Her knocks felt and sounded weak – there was a lack of confidence; a half-assed attempt and made up mind in the moment. Her legs couldn’t bring her out of this now; she couldn’t turn on her heels now – especially when her orbs met those amber ones._

_However, all words fell and were replaced with indecipherable letters in her mind as her eyes widened at his. Those eyes finally resembled the amber – there was fire in them, passion that was extinct from them. His lips, formerly in a smile, formed a frown upon seeing her figure. The shock of what she saw couldn’t slip past Kuroo’s eyes, neither could he overlook her cowering stance. He stood there, his hand on the door frame as he kept on peering at her – there were incredible emotions present in her eyes and he didn’t know if he liked them or not. The thoughts dragged him down, replaced the flame with dullness; and the hope that built up in (Y/n) was completely crushed down. Her presence had that much of a negative effect on him?_

_“You and I both aren’t happy, Kuroo.”_

_Her voice was tiny, seemingly the light breeze could snatch it away, rather tower over it. But Kuroo could hear her, clear as day. His eyes became focused, his brows slightly tugging down along with the curves of his lips. He would listen to her, seeing as this would be the last of their interactions, won’t it? Though, she was weighed down; she crushed herself just to say what she wanted – it was unbearable. She would have felt better if it was him on her place, telling her this because it would have been easier – but she wouldn’t be satisfied, she wouldn’t accept it that way. It meant nothing to him, but everything to her; for it to truly end, she had to let go first._

_She sighed softly, eyes closing. She gently reached out and grabbed his hand, and once her eyes opened again they were concentrating on how her palm fit into his. She remembered thinking that it was a perfect fit; but now it seemed as if two puzzle pieces were forced together. She hummed smoothly in contrast to the screeching of her heart._

_She refrained herself from speaking further; those words were empty, forever unspoken on some sheet of paper, they didn’t matter. Her hand let go of his; she turned her back and walked away with a smile on her face and burning eyes – not of passion, not of hate; but of pure colourless emptiness that rained down on flowers yet to bloom. And he could only stare at her retreating figure; how it blended with the dark of the night and slowly faded away. A pang of guilt hit him; because that silence held more than anything ever uttered._

_She left with all of her questions answered; but his head was now restless, relentless._

_Why was it her back that he was now seeing?_

 


	2. best of the worst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szIDM99kRNM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Y/n)'s a manager for Karasuno, for the sake of the plot.

> _[To: Kitten]_
> 
> _10:10 pm_
> 
> _I'm sorry, kitten_
> 
> _Dunno what's gotten into me_
> 
> _Wanna come over, though? I wanna make up for the last month of me being an ass._

**_[A Month Later]_ **

_"Hey, Kuroo, 's alright! I mean, maybe she didn't see the message or something?" shoes squeaked against the gym's floor in the background, but the main accent wasn't on them. The owner's voice was rather loud, obnoxious and rough around the edges – a volley ball in his hands constantly smacked against the floor as he was impatient; he wanted to continue this practice. Hair resembled a night bird – an owl. Though, his brows were furrowed and his lips set in a frown; a contrast to his usually happy-go-lucky attitude and looks, both._

_Tetsurou sighed and ducked his head, running a hand through his messy hair – but it didn’t feel right. Shouldn’t she be there; kiss his worries away and tease him, ruffle that messy hair of his even further? An ache was present in his chest, and he couldn’t get the image of her form out of his head – the way she walked away; it looked like she was prepared for it, it looked so easy for her but he saw the pain in her eyes beforehand. He shook his head from left to right, a negative response to Bokuto’s idea and a motion to get those thoughts out of his head._

_“Frankly, I was an ass.” He shrugged nonchalantly, trying to forget. He wanted to; cause he knew that she was out there, smiling and laughing and patting someone else’s back – how he hated seeing that smile caused by someone else; how he hated the fact that he was still clinging onto her but acted indifferent to the situation._

_The statement made Koutarou stop twiddling with the ball in his hands, his gaze falling on Kuroo – hard and full of concern, with red that showed the anger at what the male said._

_“I don’t really understand relationships, y’know. But…” Bokuto trailed off, having trouble with words. He sighed and mumbled incoherent curses at how his momentum stopped; but Tetsurou listened intently, not daring to cut him off in fear of a down mood from the hyperactive owl, “Be honest, man! You care, stop saying things like you’re cool.”_

_“Bokuto-san, our match is starting.”_

_Kuroo hummed, the gym completely muted and his gaze returned to Karasuno’s block._

_Surely enough, she was there; smiling and rooting for her team, even though they were unsuccessful – it was obnoxious to him and so, without further thinking, his gym bag was slumped over his shoulder and he exited the gym in search of serenity. However, the summer day wouldn’t have any of his requests, and the city not too far away screeched and reached his ears. He felt unstable; he knew that his team needed him, but he’d only be a mine if he’d gone back. They were better off without him._

_Just like her – happy and content._

_‘I wanna make up for the last month of being an ass.’_

_Her eyes have seen it too late, and a new wave of regret and pain overcame her whenever her mind drifted back on the topic; whenever her eyes met his or whenever he was nearby – his presence alarming, overwhelming and his scent was right there; just like any other night of her being in his arms. Was he in pain? Were those words of his even sincere? She wasn’t ready; it wasn’t easy – why was it weighing her down so much?_

_In the rush of ‘forget’, the Sun’s progress was slower; the evening could never come to welcome the silence before the storm, sleepless nights and countless what ifs – why couldn’t it end and why was it constantly there, prodding, infiltrating in her life. Pain captivated her; she suffered through and through because of those eyes of his, because of that voice of his; because of that soul of his._

_‘How are you?’_

_Her lips trembled whenever she thought of asking him; her legs gave up on approaching him. She was a pushover; she was wrapped around his finger – but he didn’t realize it, because he only wished to be embraced by her, played by her again just for the moment of the pain passing away. He was as desperate as she was; for any cover, even if it could be easily peeled away._

_A sigh out-broke from her lips and her eyes reflected the shine of the stars above. The grass beneath her tickled her exposed skin; it frustrated her. She couldn’t accept that it was the grass that dropped those soft touches – she could only imagine his fingers, grazing her skin and pulling her closer to that warmth. Why wasn’t he there when she needed him?_

_But she couldn’t._

_She couldn’t give in so easily to the frustration; she couldn’t let the same happen again. The pain is a passing; longing is an illusion. She’s fine._

_Or so she’d like to think._

_The moment footsteps sound and a presence is next to her, her heart stops beating and drops to her stomach. Her breathing is heavy, but she tries suppressing it – she doesn’t want it to show. Her eyes drop from the sky’s limit to the illusion that she just relieved – but he was actually there now; it wasn’t her mind or the heartache that brought him forward._

_He exhales softly and lets his body drop back; and now he laid next to her, letting the warmth of the stars cover the pain in his eyes – they were so close, yet so far away right now. What a mess._

_“ **Are you happy?** ”_


	3. happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are you happy?"

 

 

> _[To: Kitten]_
> 
> _03:33 am_
> 
> _I still miss you.~_
> 
> _[From: Kitten]_
> 
> _03:35 am_
> 
> _Tetsu..._
> 
> _It's half past 3 in the morning, why aren't you sleeping?_
> 
> _[To: Kitten]_
> 
> _03:36 am_
> 
> _Thinkin' bout you, 's all._
> 
> _Hey, I can practically feel you cringing._
> 
> _[From: Kitten]_
> 
> _03:37 am_
> 
> _No duh!_
> 
> _That was totally cheesy!_
> 
> _But_
> 
> _I miss you too._
> 
>  

She smiled at the device in her hand; the screen managed to illuminate only little through the thickness of the dark, though the light was covered as soon as her fingers tapped over the LED, creating a rhythm in the silence. She hummed almost inaudibly, feeling warmth spread from her chest to her cheeks. She could have blamed it on the heat of the summer night, but she'd be lying about the origin of the red that dusted her cheeks. Content and happiness – she thought she'd never feel the again.

Her fingers began tapping on the screen once more, her eyes burning from the brightness and – upon trying to dim the screen there was frustration, as it was at the minimum brightness already. She sighed in the dead of the night, hitting send and – only when the screen completely faded to black and her eyes closed did she feel slumber luring her in. Her stiff figure finally relaxed in the comfort of the mattress as, finally, she welcomed the darkness to caress her and show her what held her.

 

_‘Are you happy?’_

_The question hung in the air and built tension up – the girl swore that it was enough to choke her; stop her dead in her track, or maybe it was of how fragile she became? How she craved his touch and how she despised the coldness that his fingertips left; how her mind swirled with answers and empty questions and what was next to do. She busied herself with pointless tasks, pointless thoughts – a pointless life._

_A routine through the day._

_Anger boiled in her veins and sought a release through her system. It travelled up and down until she felt the consequences of that ‘boiling’—hot tears escaped and stained her pretty little face. Another question, but where was the answer? Why couldn’t words escape, even if it were a shout?_

_She bit back the sobs that threatened to spill, the vulnerability that held her captive; all that was so close to her heart it shouldn’t show. He shouldn’t see it._

_But he watched._

_He felt pain pang in his chest at the sight of her – her just like him. With unshed tears and unspoken words; with unshared pain and empty inside – he saw the consequences as he did in himself through her; the burden an elephant in the room, and he had to point it out, didn’t he? He swallowed hard; his mind racing to find anything else to say – anything to soothe her, only a bit._

_Though, his nonexistent words were cut off by her shuddering breaths, an incoherent word pried out of her mouth – but he knew better than to step over it._

_“I’m not.” Her voice cracking; she could practically feel her vocal chords tightening as she refused to intake any more of unsure breaths. Her chest settled on a rhythm new to Kuroo – completely different than what he saw at those sleepless nights of his; whereas she was peaceful, beautiful next to him with her chest heaving up and down in the most astonishing nature. That was paradise._

_Could this be considered hell?_

_“I’m not happy, Tetsu.”_

_Silence draped over them. The male, he lacked in confidence, in cockiness, and in sureness at that point and, yet, as if it was quickly recovered – whether from the realistic situation or a beautiful illusion – he acted as if he possessed it all. He shifted, closer to her; his arms wrapped around her and he pulled her closer – and the puzzle fit perfectly._

_Tears strained his shirt, her intense shaking moving the both of them – but he was that solid foundation that she sought so much; the person to catch her from a fall that was bound to happen… He was finally the music that she, initially, danced to. His thumbs rubbed soothing circles on her back, where his hands rested. It left a tingling sensation where it was; almost numbness overtook it – but it was a distraction that she took so greedily. It lessened the pain of his silence, just a little._

_“I’m not happy either,” his words were soft in contrast to the rough tone his voice had, “I hate myself so much for doing what I did… I’d do anything for you to forgive me...”_

_He paused – not because he was reluctant. He wouldn’t hesitate to say those words, ever. He never did force them out, neither did he lie whenever he said them – though, he realized how words lost their meaning after the nth time of using them._

_“I love you, damn it. You’re… my happiness.”_

 

> _[To: Kitten]_
> 
> _03:39 am_
> 
> _Oh yeah?_
> 
> _Who would have thought!_
> 
> _[From: Kitten]_
> 
> _03:40 am_
> 
> _Hey, Tetsu…_
> 
> _You’re my happiness. <3_
> 
> _[To: Kitten]_
> 
> _03:42 am_
> 
> _Oho ho ho?_
> 
> _Who woulda thought._
> 
>  
> 
> _03:48 am_
> 
> _Kitten?_
> 
> _You there?_
> 
> _Yeah, I get it. It's pretty late._
> 
>  
> 
> _03:50 am_
> 
> _You're probably sleeping, m i rite or m i rite._
> 
> _Aight, aight, I get it._
> 
> _Good night._
> 
> _I love you._
> 
>  

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my mother tongue.  
> I hope you enjoyed this.
> 
> I haven't proof-read it; if there are any grammatical or spelling errors, please let me know. 
> 
> Criticize the work to all of your hearts content, I do wish to get better! However, please be correct about it and point out specifically what was wrong and what I should work on.
> 
> Inappropriate/Hate comments will be deleted.
> 
> Please leave a kudos or a comment as support, it helps a lot.
> 
> Thank you.


End file.
